Both of my friends ordered truffle poached eggs with asparagus crudites.

I only had a small taste of the dish, but was impressed. The asparagus played two roles in this dish- in sauteed whole stalks and also raw shavings on top. Great textures and flavours on both. Not being a great fan of poached eggs (blasphemous coming from a brunch/breakfast lover, I know), I can’t really comment on those. The ciabatta croutons were sinfully buttery and went really well with the generous smear of rich mayo-esque sauce it came with. Overall a very interesting thing to have for brunch, if a little heavy.

I had the corn and zucchini fritters with avocado, a fried egg and manchego cheese.

Unlike most places which serve their fritters in patty form, Dukes’ served theirs up in the form of crispy fried balls. The fritters were perfectly cooked- great crispy exterior and fluffy on the inside. The manchego was nice and creamy but probably a bit overpowered by the stronger flavours of the slightly greasy fritters and the chutney. On a side note, I’ve never understood the logic behind pairing corn fritters with cloyingly sweet chutney. I think they need to be matched with something more cleansing, like a pico de gallo or some labna.

Based on my experience, Dukes is doing great brunch fare and good coffee, which seems to be the food blog consensus. The Coffee Guide, Miss Adriennely and Espresso Melbourne (which has luscious photos doing the sunlit café justice) also gave Dukes positive reviews.

Dukes Coffee

169 Chapel St 
Windsor, VIC 3181

So wrong. One look at the menu says it all. Black pepper <insert meat>, Mongolian beef, <insert meat> with cashews, <insert meat> with lemongrass, I could keep going. At the time I was thinking “but… the sign outside said Thai, Vietnamese and Lao food”. I can understand a Chinese restaurant trying to get away with random anglo-morph Chinese dishes, but then why claim to be a <insert more exotic ethnicity> restaurant? To be fair (and maybe slightly racist) they seemed to have a pretty white-dominant clientele who were pretty happy with their lemon chicken.

Okay, I am exaggerating slightly and perhaps being a bit mean. But as one of the few Asian people in the restaurant that night, I was looking around trying to find someone else who was equally perplexed. It wasn’t completely false advertising, as they did have one column of the menu dedicated to the “Lao, Thai and Vietnamese food” which to my memory consisted of some Thai curries and a few Lao dishes. Entrees featured a number of Vietnamese eats too, which a lot of people seemed to be enjoying.

We ordered a seafood Tom Yum, but nothing else from that part of the menu as Liza wasn’t a fan of spicy food. Some of the specials did sound pretty authentic, but the dish we ordered off the specials board (satay beef) was just battered and deep fried beef in a very mild peanut sauce. The other things we ordered were vegetables with cashews and pork in Peking sauce. Both were tasty and were served pretty quickly, but were by no means authentic. The pork was also battered and deep fried, and came in a pink and sweet plummy sauce. How bizarre.

Also, the waiters seemed a little bit agro, but that’s probably due to how busy they were. Right now I’m just trying to get over the menu and work out why it’s such a popular restaurant. Perhaps if I had ordered from the ‘Asian’ menu I would have enjoyed the food more? I’m not writing it off completely since what we ordered wasn’t all that representative of the overall offering.

Six pages of Google search later, I actually managed to find a review from Melbourne’s bargain foodie- it’s a positive one too, which reinforces my view that Minh Minh’s popularity could be justified. Still, if it’s so wildly popular thanks to the authentic dishes, is it really necessary to pad out the menu with generic fake-Chinese dishes? Just gets me down. If you’ve had a positive/negative experience here, I’d love to hear about it.

Minh Minh

94 Victoria St
Richmond, 3121

The interior was dim and cosy (although I guess anywhere indoors would feel pretty cosy when it’s freezing and pouring out). It wasn’t all that busy for a Thursday night, which worked fine for us. Service was great. The bartender was really friendly, even after our friend Fong tipped over a drink with his exaggerated gestures in an attempt to re-enact my tipsy drink-spilling tendencies.

Drinks were a bit expensive. Basics were $6.50 which I guess, is okay. A friend inquired about Jagerbombs and was told that they were $10 a pop. A bit ridiculous considering you can get them at Little Peninsula for $5. Why am I going on about the prices of Jagerbombs? I know, I know… there is a chance I should now be old enough and classy enough to not have them any more. It wasn’t my idea, I promise you.

In any case, good times to be had at the Curtin. If you’re there and overhear a group of people talking about growth models or Cournot Oligopoly- it’s probably us.

The Curtin

29 Lygon Street
Carlton VIC 3053
(03) 9663 6350

We made it there in the end, obviously. The feel of it is pretty relaxed, and the staff are really friendly too, so really I was worried for nothing. The interior is lovely, and features a lot of recycled furniture. I also like the fact that the kitchen is an open space in the middle of the café.

To drink, I had a pot of gen-mai cha. Really tasty and musky, with that amazing comforting smell of roasted brown rice. Takes me back to a rainy evening spent with a good friend in a tiny Japanese restaurant south of the river- Hibari has mouthwateringly good brown rice tea.

Dave had an iced coffee, which they took pretty literally. It was a latte that came with another ice-filled glass. Ummm… okay.

The menu is pretty simple, with a few Western brekkie dishes (eggs, sandwiches, muesli) and a handful of Japanese options. Dave went for a Texan ham toastie, while I obviously couldn’t go past the much talked-about traditional Japanese breakfast.

Ham, rocket, cheese, mustard on sourdough. According to Dave, “It was delicious, but you can’t really call something Texan when it’s so small”. In more diplomatic terms, he would have enjoyed that toastie more if there had been more of it. [In economics jargon, you could say that Dave's utility function is strict monotonic, ie more is better. Oh my god. Stop me. Honours is taking over my life!]

Anyway, back to the food.

The traditional Japanese breakfast consisted of a mound of brown rice, grilled salmon, potato salad, slices of omelette and a serving of vegies. My favourite part of the dish has got to be the miso soup. I’ve never had miso soup this hearty yet so cleansing. It was filled with little chunks of carrot and enoki mushrooms and felt like the most suitable thing to eat in the morning. NOM! The serving of cooked green beans tossed in ground black sesame seeds was also delicious. Overall a pretty tasty and filling brunch/lunch in a great, laidback environment.

I will be back. Probably to get the more veggie-heavy version of the Japanese breakfast, definitely to just kick back and maybe scoffle down a couple of those amazing-looking green tea muffins! You can also read reviews by MEL: Hot or Not, That Jess Ho and Fitzroyalty.

Cibi

45 Keele Street
Collingwood VIC 3066
(03) 9077 3941

Dave loves the rare beef chili soup (Bun Bo Hue) and refuses to order anything else here. Definitely one of the things to get when you’re here.

One of the dishes that have really grown on me is the bamboo and duck soup with rice vermicelli. I’ve had this dish twice, and have nothing but love for it. Thin round rice vermicelli noodles in a clear soup with pieces of duck and dried bamboo shoot strips- so simple but delicious. It also comes with a lightly sweet ginger dipping sauce that really perks up the dish.

On another occasion, I got the Bun Mam, which consisted of thick rice noodles in a prawny soup with fish, thinly sliced roast pork, thinly sliced pork spare ribs and prawn. Unusual combination, but tasty.

You can probably expect more reports on Co Do in the future seeing as I’m there every other week, slurping up a bowl of noodles while watching reruns of Vietnamese music awards and bizarre Vietnamese sci-fi action movies. Previous review here.

Co Do

196 Victoria St
Richmond VIC 3121
(03) 9421 2418

But how is the food, you ask? Ned swears by the katsu curry don, while Amy had the tori kara age ramen (ahhh Japanese fried chicken…). Both are apparently quite good.

I’ve had the vegetable curry. It’s a massive serve of Japanese curry flecked with onions and potatoes over rice, with a few pieces of tofu and broccoli. It was pretty filling, and the tofu was firm but silky.

On another occasion I had the spicy pork ramen, which was intense but delicious. The shoyu soup base (you can also have it with miso) was probably good but my tastebuds were wrecked by the crazy slick of chili oil on the soup. I have to agree with tummyrumbles that it was surprisingly good bowl of ramen.

For some reason it’s pretty quiet on the days I’ve been there. How curious, considering it’s on a pretty busy stretch of Bourke St. Ned will probably see to it that I’m back there again next week. Which is totally okay, because I am a fan of the booth seats, no-fuss service and *breathlessly murmurs* Sapporo on tap.

Ito Japanese Noodle Café

122 Bourke St, Melbourne
Phone 03 9663 2788

Thanks to my impeccable timing, Ned, Dave and myself ended up in front of steaming bowls of pho on one of the hottest days Melbourne has seen this year (not that that really says much about how hot it was- this summer has been pathetic). We all got the chicken and beef pho, with some spring rolls to share. The spring rolls were crunchy and served with fresh (and non-dodgy looking) lettuce. Pretty standard.

Now, for the pho.

The rice noodles were smooth, but a bit on the thick side. Great if you enjoy a slightly more toothsome texture, but I also found that the noodles had that starchy rice taste to them because they were so thick. In the countless bowlfuls of pho I had in Vietnam (haha, sorry, I can’t stop talking about it) the rice noodles were thin, silky and loosened up easily. These, on the other hand, were actually stuck together. It was quite difficult to separate individual strands. I’m just being overly obsessive here, because most people probably just stuff a whole clump in their mouth, but I like to be able to get smooth individual strands. Texture-wise, the noodles at Co Do beat them hands down.

The rare beef was tender, but seemed to have just been carelessly thrown onto the soup in a clump. Because they weren’t separated evenly, the pieces of beef didn’t cook evenly. The soup was good, although sweeter (more MSG?) than the more mellow version at Co Do. One thing I did like, was that they were generous with the thinly sliced onion in the soup.

Overall a pretty alright place to get a lunchtime bowl of pho. I think the food is a little rough around the edges. But maybe that’s just my loyalty to Co Do showing. Already I’m telling myself that the old faithful was probably just having a bad day, and that I should give it another shot.

Pho Chu The

270 Victoria Street, Richmond

Over summer I also read Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer, which is a great book about the farming/fishing industry from various perspectives ranging from factory farmers to slaughterhouse owners to activists. I’ll be frank and say that I didn’t start reading it out of compassion for animals. I started the book because I enjoy reading J.S. Foer and figured if I was going to learn about factory farming and the lot, it might as well be through his storytelling.Well, the facts, figures, and storytelling all got to me.

And that is how I became one of those people who read a book, and changed their mind about certain things. When I told Dave that I was considering vegetarianism, I’m sure he did a double-take. Up til a few weeks ago, I was an enthusiastic meat-eater. Heck, I’m Chinese. That alone speaks volumes for my consumption of pork.

The reality is that I don’t think I will ever be able to fully give up meat. One reason is ‘table fellowship’, which Foer talks about in the book, and which means that what I eat is also affected by my dining company. Another reason is that I just love meat too damn much. The compromise that I’ve decided to make, is to eat less meat, to not waste any when I do eat it, and to try to eat it only when I feel like it’s been treated with respect (which is my fancy way of saying I’ll only order meat when I think it’s going to be really really tasty).

Am I a confused experimental vegetarian? Am I cheating? Am I just “going through a phase”? Are my eating habits going to make a difference to the factory farming industry at all? Who knows. But in the meantime, I think it’s a great opportunity for me to try to eat healthier, be more conscious of what I eat, and check out the vegetarian options in restaurants!

I highly recommend Eating Animals (the book, and -very occasionally- the act) and welcome any suggestions for vegetarian restaurants/ going vego in general.

One remedy for this is kat-chai with honey. Kat-chai, also known as calamondin oranges,  look like limes with a more orangey tinged skin. They’re actually much more tangy with a slightly bitter finish- like a grapefruit-orange-lime triple threat. They’re mouthwateringly sour, and are a perfect match with honey. The acidity from kat-chai juice clears the throat, while the honey counters the sourness while soothing the throat.

6-7 calamondin oranges

2 tbsp honey

Half cup hot water

Add honey to the half cupful of hot water, juice the little calamondin oranges into the water, fish out the seeds, drink! If you like it strong, ie blindingly tangy and sour, then start out with 1/3 cup water instead. Seriously, the tastiest sore-throat remedy ever.

I present… my childhood.

4 flower crabs, quartered

4 cloves coarsely chopped garlic

2 thumb-sized pieces of young ginger, thinly sliced

1 chilli, de-seeded and cut into a few sections

1 medium sized tomato, roughly chopped (into approx 16 pcs)

A few tbsp of ketchup

Roughly chopped spring onions and Chinese parsley, 2 sprigs each

Heat up some oil (about 4 tbsp? I don’t know, however much your health conscience permits I guess) on high heat, add coarsely chopped garlic. When the garlic starts to colour slightly,  add ginger slices and chilli into the oil. Give it a quick stir, then throw in the crabs. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT add any water at this point. Or you will end up with a spongy sorry excuse for crabmeat.

Anyway, once the crab pieces are in, sprinkle in a pinch of salt, stir through to ensure all the pieces are coated in hot oil, then cover the wok. Stir every half minute or so, then cover again. After about 2 minutes, uncover and give it another quick and thorough stir- you should be able to smell the sea (I know it’s kind of abstract, but I don’t know how else to describe it). That’s when you know it’s time to add some hot water. Half a cupful of water first, plus the chopped tomatoes, then a quick stir, cover again. At this point your wok should still be on high heat. Continue to lift the lid for a thorough stir every minute or so before covering again. Cook for about ten minutes- the tomato pieces should have pretty much disintegrated. See that shrivelled ribbon of tomato skin (bottom right corner of the photo below)? You want it like that.

Finally, throw in a glug of tomato sauce/ketchup/catsup (ahaha!) or if you’re not fond of guesstimation,  let’s say two tablespoons. Quick stir, cover. At this point, have a quick taste of the sauce- it should be spicy, slightly sweet, a bit soupy but thickened by the eggy bits of crab. Then add in your sprigs of chopped spring onion and Chinese parsley, stir, cover. Let the green things work their magic for a few seconds, then turn off the heat and serve.

Crustacean party in yo mouth woo woo!!!

The kind of crab my mum always uses in this recipe is the flower crab, which is smaller than a mud crab, with a softer shell. It take less time to cook than a mud crab, is less fleshy but the tiny pockets of flesh are sweet and pack a punch when it comes to flavour. The Australian equivalent of these flower crabs are probably blue swimmer crabs.

I also observed while my mum cleaned and quartered the crabs. Basically, you start by using an old toothbrush to give the pincers and top+bottom shell a good clean.

Then you rip the top shell off and tear out the heart from within the mess of roe in the top shell. Next, tear out the lungs. Halve the crab, following the cavity in the middle. Halve again, so that you end up with a piece with pincer+leg and and another piece with three legs. Give the pincers a few firm raps with the blunt end of your cleaver.  Since the legs on flower crabs/ blue swimmers aren’t that hard-shelled, no leg-bashing is required.

And you’re done! Each crab should yield five pieces: top shell with roe attached, 2 pieces with a pincer each, 2 pieces with legs. While cooking, remember to have the top shell roe-side down so it cooks through.

To further your crab butchering education, here’s a nifty post with pictures by That Jess Ho on how to dismember mud crabs.